Good "1 upp'er" or completely untrue stories

TN12Valve · Jan 29, 2015

This thread is crakin' me up! I just started EMT school a few weeks ago and I have quickly learned that we have one of these assholes in our class... Every damn time the instructor tells a REAL LIFE medic story, this douche nugget has got one just like it! I mean, why the fawk are you in EMT school if you have already seen/done everything? The more he talks the more I want to smack the **** out of him because he is essentially incriminating himself because half the **** that he says he's done would have been illegal because he has no licenses to do any of it. Oh, and I should mention that on the first day of class he stood up and told everyone that he used to be a cop but he quit because it was "boring" (this dude is all of 300#'s and uncoordinated as hell). I'll have to start writing down some of the stuff that he says to share on here.

money_pit_yj · Jan 29, 2015

tommy450r said:
The guy that runs the gates at a offroad park near me (sugar creek) always has a crazy story to tell. One time it was a antenna that made enough electricity to power your house just from driving down the road. Last time it was the CIA had a shop hiding kids out an shipping them to a meat processing place an eating them. We had 4 different truck loads of sxs when we pulled in an he told every one of us the same story about eating kids.

That's T County for you!!! Everytime we went back in the day we got a wild crazy story. They had 2 rules when we used to go. No weed and no rap music. After the big shoutout up there they added a third. No guns.

TheViking · Jan 29, 2015

TN12Valve said:
This thread is crakin' me up! I just started EMT school a few weeks ago and I have quickly learned that we have one of these assholes in our class... Every damn time the instructor tells a REAL LIFE medic story, this douche nugget has got one just like it! I mean, why the fawk are you in EMT school if you have already seen/done everything? The more he talks the more I want to smack the **** out of him because he is essentially incriminating himself because half the **** that he says he's done would have been illegal because he has no licenses to do any of it. Oh, and I should mention that on the first day of class he stood up and told everyone that he used to be a cop but he quit because it was "boring" (this dude is all of 300#'s and uncoordinated as hell). I'll have to start writing down some of the stuff that he says to share on here.

Wow we had one of those in my EMT class but this individual was a biker and femals and all the stories started with at the clubhouse.....

Also had a classmate who claimed that his Mitsubishi mini truck would go zero to sixty in like three seconds, he got the nickname "Three Seconds"....

Also dated a girl who's brother was lazy but he could do any job because he had done everything before thirty. Now he is injured and can tell you how to do it but can't help you because of whatever he has had surgery on this year and the Dr won't release him.....

tommy450r · Jan 29, 2015

money_pit_yj said:
That's T County for you!!! Everytime we went back in the day we got a wild crazy story. They had 2 rules when we used to go. No weed and no rap music. After the big shoutout up there they added a third. No guns.

lol yea the rules now are

no rap
no guns
no glass

i guess weed is ok now haha

LandSpeeder · Jan 29, 2015

tommy450r said:
lol yea the rules now are

no rap
no guns
no glass

i guess weed is ok now haha

GOTTO-MIGHTY where is this park?! I'ma burn one!

tommy450r · Jan 29, 2015

LandSpeeder said:
GOTTO-MIGHTY where is this park?! I'ma burn one!

drummonds Tn (west TN)

sugar creek offroad its a badass place to play (an smoke lol)

LandSpeeder · Jan 29, 2015

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed!"

I don't smoke anymore since it's illegal and I try to be a law abiding citizen for real, but DANG when I was younger I used to be sitting officer of "The Joint Chiefs of Waft"

sappmann · Jan 30, 2015

a customer told us this one day he wanted a 3/4 race cam :****:

pholmann · Jan 30, 2015

Was he an older fella? I think that used to be a thing back in the day before all the technology caught up with speed and performance. Ive heard a lot of older folks talk about 3/4 and full race cams. I may have to do a little research on that and see exactly what thats all about.

onepieceatatime · Jan 30, 2015

Re:

I've heard that term before as well but never knew what it meant.

blacksheep10 · Jan 30, 2015

same here. I always assumed it was .75 of whatever a lot was, or actually .750 (3/4" of valve lift) , so no way there.

sappmann · Jan 30, 2015

yes he was an older man

pholmann · Jan 30, 2015

I believe there was a very limited camshaft selection back then. I think it went stock, 1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and full race. Thats the 50's and 60's though. I heard my father in law refer to em too. He was 70 when he passed almost two years ago.

Stretch · Jan 30, 2015

Old school reference for a hi perf street cam. Has to do with which intake and exhaust lobes are used.

pholmann · Jan 30, 2015

Thats pretty cool. **** has come a long way hasn't it.

ontherun · Jan 30, 2015

We have guy on the railroad we nicknamed skid mark, becouse he leaves a line of **** everywhere he goes...went from private to E 7 in 3 years, played baseball for the tx rangers till he blew his knee out, country western singer with contract, walked around with naked pic on his phone said it was his wife...i met his wife,.not her....and more

TacomaJD · Jan 30, 2015

Homeless man approached a few of my buddies one night we were at Tacomac in Chattanooga eating and drinking. They were outside in the fenced in area smoking a cig and he came up and asked for one and they (drunk) started talking to him, told him to jump the fence and come in. He sat down at our table of like 8 or 9 ppl, and proceeded to tell the funniest fake ass stories (of course you never really know), and my buddy bought him 2 or 3 beers just for shits and giggles lol. Sumbitch claimed **** Cheney shot him in the chest in the war and pulled up his shirt to show us his battle scar molaugh

Well we got ready to leave and 1 or 2 more homeless fawkers had caught on to this guy's treatment from us, and they ended up following us out to the car and wanted to go back to Alabama with us! One said he had a nice revolver for sale around the corner for $50 but only one of us could go with him to get it, no more than one person. **** I was like you gon' try to buttfawk me and take my money, go the fawk on! Finally we beat them away from the vehicles so we could leave and head back to the promise land molaugh

...think I puked on the side of the interstate somewhere that night. Good times molaugh

HageredYota85 · Jan 30, 2015

Once upon a time I picked up a girl from a bar. I took her to one of those romantic screw spots out in the woods, yall know the kind, but before i could get her started she told me she was a virgin and she was nervous. I tried fingering her to get her going but i couldn't even get 1 upper!

TacomaJD · Jan 30, 2015

HageredYota85 said:
Once upon a time I picked up a girl from a bar. I took her to one of those romantic screw spots out in the woods, yall know the kind, but before i could get her started she told me she was a virgin and she was nervous. I tried fingering her to get her going but i couldn't even get 1 upper!

LMAOOOOOO!!!!!

I went home with a fat girl once, a bunch of times!

infamous1 · Jan 30, 2015

Re: Re: Good "1 upp'er" or completely untrue stories

TacomaJD said:
LMAOOOOOO!!!!!

I went home with a fat girl once, a bunch of times!

Never went to bed with a fat girl but woke up with a few lol!!!

We was riding and camping with some guys once and the guys went to a bar to get some nookies,and this is the story; about 2am they hollared last call old boy said they was only two gals left in the place and they was sitting at the bar looking at them, ole boy said one of them would dress out about 350lbs he said his buddy wanted her so he took the ole big gal!!!!!