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Worst piece of ass ever!
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<blockquote data-quote="InDaShop" data-source="post: 294753" data-attributes="member: 1295"><p>So I got the idea from this thread over on DezertRangers. </p><p>Some good reads, had me dying laughing! Definately TMI! </p><p><a href="http://www.dezertrangers.com/vb/off-topic/130178.htm" target="_blank">http://www.dezertrangers.com/vb/off-topic/130178.htm</a></p><p></p><p></p><p>Not as bad as some of those but here's mine, and there are some guys on here that can back this dumbshit up.</p><p></p><p>Back in the day in Paola, some buddies of mine(Kelly "Blacksheep10", Heath "CreekTrash") used to put on an annual MudRun. Big money from all over Midwest came to run. <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies2/TC.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tc" title="TC :tc" data-shortname=":tc" /></p><p>I think their attendance topped 10k one year, then afterwards would be a huge party. Epic party. Hooking up there was always like shooting fish in a barrel. </p><p>I mean you get horsepower, mud, lots of booze, all day drinking and the panties would just come right off. <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies2/w00t-1.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":woot:" title="W00t 1 :woot:" data-shortname=":woot:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies2/8861.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cougar:" title="8861 :cougar:" data-shortname=":cougar:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies2/w00t-1.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":woot:" title="W00t 1 :woot:" data-shortname=":woot:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies2/8861.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cougar:" title="8861 :cougar:" data-shortname=":cougar:" /></p><p></p><p> So I find a target at some point, this blonde, pretty cute, not hot as I was looking for the sure thing not something that I had to work too hard for, She was from another town, but knew some local girls. I start setting it up mid-day, Saying the right ****, constantly handing her beers to ply the efforts. Make her feel appreciated, etc… Once it got dark, and the beers were drying up we all road trip into town to a buddies house that I was going to crash at. We get there and a lot of party has shown up, which was standard for this house back in the day. Standing room only from the back door to the front door There would be so many people his dog would go hide in the bathtub. </p><p></p><p>So after fighting through the crowd this chick drags me into the bathroom and wants to get it on. I'm all down for it! So we get to mugging down we are rubbing all over each other, and I want some starter BJ action so I start the "PUSH" she shakes that **** off and tells me I've got to suck her ***** first. **** it, I'm in, lets do this. I get her clothes off, and prop her up on the bathroom vanity. Lights are on, this chick has great lil titties, and a shazed cookie. So I kneel down and get to rubbing her real good and about ready to start breathing through my ears, when I go to dip a finger in. WTF? How do I get in, its like Ft. Knox. I push a little harder, and its like the sides are super glued together. No kidding. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" />uke: I kinda give her a look, and she's like come on! So I get both hands in there and end up peeling this thing apart like a grilled cheese sandwich! Really at this point against better judgement I went in for it, I mean I'd worked damn hard to get that coochie to this point I might as well. UGHHH, talk about all day sweaty ass, smoker ****, drinkin, it was a bad call. Lucky for me I was hammer drunk and didn't let the disgust get me down too hard. </p><p></p><p>Who really knows how long this lasted but long enough I was past the wanting a blowjob, so I stand up and feed this girl my cock. We are hammering this vanity and damn near braking the mirror off the wall, when she falls forward more of less crumbing both of us to the ground. No reason to stop so we get to missionary on the bathroom rug, me on top. Pretty much at this point I look up and lock eyes with the dog. Freaks me out. He's hiding in the bathtub and just staring at me with these judging eyes, like "what are you two humans doing?" I had to kinda pick this chick up and twist so that we were facing the other way so the dog wouldn't be staring at me, and the whole time thinking I'm a kill that dog if he licks or bites my ass. :****: </p><p></p><p>Eventually we both finish, she left and went home with some girlfriends, I passed out on couch. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So lets hear 'em, I'm honestly scared to hear JR's or JRich's.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InDaShop, post: 294753, member: 1295"] So I got the idea from this thread over on DezertRangers. Some good reads, had me dying laughing! Definately TMI! [url=http://www.dezertrangers.com/vb/off-topic/130178.htm]http://www.dezertrangers.com/vb/off-topic/130178.htm[/url] Not as bad as some of those but here’s mine, and there are some guys on here that can back this dumbshit up. Back in the day in Paola, some buddies of mine(Kelly “Blacksheep10”, Heath “CreekTrash”) used to put on an annual MudRun. Big money from all over Midwest came to run. :tc I think their attendance topped 10k one year, then afterwards would be a huge party. Epic party. Hooking up there was always like shooting fish in a barrel. I mean you get horsepower, mud, lots of booze, all day drinking and the panties would just come right off. :woot: :cougar: :woot: :cougar: So I find a target at some point, this blonde, pretty cute, not hot as I was looking for the sure thing not something that I had to work too hard for, She was from another town, but knew some local girls. I start setting it up mid-day, Saying the right ****, constantly handing her beers to ply the efforts. Make her feel appreciated, etc… Once it got dark, and the beers were drying up we all road trip into town to a buddies house that I was going to crash at. We get there and a lot of party has shown up, which was standard for this house back in the day. Standing room only from the back door to the front door There would be so many people his dog would go hide in the bathtub. So after fighting through the crowd this chick drags me into the bathroom and wants to get it on. I’m all down for it! So we get to mugging down we are rubbing all over each other, and I want some starter BJ action so I start the “PUSH” she shakes that **** off and tells me I’ve got to suck her ***** first. **** it, I’m in, lets do this. I get her clothes off, and prop her up on the bathroom vanity. Lights are on, this chick has great lil titties, and a shazed cookie. So I kneel down and get to rubbing her real good and about ready to start breathing through my ears, when I go to dip a finger in. WTF? How do I get in, its like Ft. Knox. I push a little harder, and its like the sides are super glued together. No kidding. :puke: I kinda give her a look, and she’s like come on! So I get both hands in there and end up peeling this thing apart like a grilled cheese sandwich! Really at this point against better judgement I went in for it, I mean I’d worked damn hard to get that coochie to this point I might as well. UGHHH, talk about all day sweaty ass, smoker ****, drinkin, it was a bad call. Lucky for me I was hammer drunk and didn’t let the disgust get me down too hard. Who really knows how long this lasted but long enough I was past the wanting a blowjob, so I stand up and feed this girl my cock. We are hammering this vanity and damn near braking the mirror off the wall, when she falls forward more of less crumbing both of us to the ground. No reason to stop so we get to missionary on the bathroom rug, me on top. Pretty much at this point I look up and lock eyes with the dog. Freaks me out. He’s hiding in the bathtub and just staring at me with these judging eyes, like “what are you two humans doing?” I had to kinda pick this chick up and twist so that we were facing the other way so the dog wouldn’t be staring at me, and the whole time thinking I’m a kill that dog if he licks or bites my ass. :****: Eventually we both finish, she left and went home with some girlfriends, I passed out on couch. So lets hear 'em, I'm honestly scared to hear JR's or JRich's. [/QUOTE]
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