LandSpeeder said:
Not trying to Top you.. ( get it?) but we also had a guy we all called Topper! LOL!
Do we work together?! This guy was a contract worker.
I doubt it. Looks like you are in AL? I am in central, NC.
The topper that worked here was a contractor too. He was here around 2007-2009 when the company was wide open on a big project. Everyone here sits in a cubicle, but there were so many people here at that time they converted a big room into 'the man cave' we used to call it. About 15-20 contract engineers were in that room. Not long after he started someone started the 'Topper List' for all of his stories. It was on a shared drive where everyone could get to it to add the latest tall tale they had been told by Topper. A co worker of mine still has a copy and sent it to me. It is 9 pages long!
Here is the first page:
1. Sailed a 72' sail boat double handed through three (3) hurricanes and 80' waves, the boat's was supposedly a Swan (a multi million dollar sailing yacht) note I said double handed as in only two people, the boat was totalled.
2. While riding his Banshee down the beach he spotted a Giant Squid. He ran in to the water and single handily captured (wrestled) it and dug it onto the beach where he and a bunch of locals immediately cut it up for food.(Baja Peninsula)
3. Once got knocked off his Banshee at OVER 100 MPH on beach by seagull impact to head. With his daughter on board with him, she was able to control it after he got knocked off.
4. Rolled a Jeep CJ down 250' cliff and walked away virtually unscathed
5. Had repeated high speed "get-offs" at over 100 MPH from Banshee, saved only by his custom made chest protector.
6. Called on his cell phone several times in a room full of co-workers, speaking extremely loud as he inquired about a $192,000 Bahamian bank draft check that was to be and deposited (half of it) into "Schmidt Barney account"
7. Caught Tarpon "all day long" on a fly rod in Puerto Rico
8. Not 1, but 3 catfish in 1 evening from the dock on High Rock Lake – 2-40 pounders and 1 OVER 80#!
9. Owns a 135 MPH jet boat "NUTTIN" can touch it on High Rock lake
10. Bought a set of $6500 spherical port cylinder heads by Richard Childress racing from eBay for $300 complete!
11. Wrote a vertical turning center postprocessor for Siemens "after dinner"
12. Flew small plane over Fort Bragg Military reservation, post 911
13. Built strip redwood canoe "no tippee" virtually untipptable even when you stand on the gunnels.
14. Bought 2 "Dali" prints (signed and numbered) for about a "couple tousand" each and now are worth about ½ Million.
15. While Bass Fishing with unheard of "pro" anglers with "some sort of lures they invented" he caught (9), 4 plus pound fish in one afternoon.
16. Detonating explosives with a former Hells Angel member who has 3 bunkers "filled" with C4 etc…..
17. World class archer 1974 to 1978 Olympic class. EASILY shoots pigeons in flight from silos.
18. Former downhill ski instructor
19. Has surfed the shores of Hawaii (the North shore of course), Mexico and Puerto Rico and Costa Rica where his surfing buddies currently reside.
20. Owns a house in NC, Arizona and Puerto Rico
21. Girlfriend rubs his feet when he gets home "every day"
22. Was involved in a "hit and run" on I-85 with a tractor trailer – the truck got away in a traffic jam, escaped his gray duct taped red Porsche.
23. Worked at Custom furniture manufacturer in high school.
24. Designed Invisalign Braces tooling
25. His stepson was arrested for creating a hit list to shoot-up his high school.
26. See #25- He then beats up the reporter that came to his door.
27. He has a 21 yr old girlfriend/mistress that his live-in girlfriend knows about, but this is normal because she is Spanish he says.