Jotd 3/19/11

Symon623 · Mar 19, 2011

Might be a Re-post but thrit new to me;

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and
an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA .
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started
to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted
owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the
tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She
told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter
and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her
story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining
room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry
woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her,
"Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency,
the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could
remove old-growth timber from a recreational area, so close to a waste
treatment facility.

Symon623 · Mar 19, 2011

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward, saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole.
The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!"
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up."And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.