Funny Short Jokes....

[Poohbair]

Post em up...

 

[Poohbair]

A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous
brothers."

 

[TreeClimber]

Lil Zuk walks into a bar.

 

[ZedMikey]

Lil Zuk walks into a bar.

Or was it "under" a bar? :fawkdancesmiley:

 

[2pwrlftrs4u]

Udub football :fawkdancesmiley:

 

[CHOP SHOP]

The blind capenter picked up his hammer, and saw. :D

 

[CHOP SHOP]

Man stops at my booth at the Packwood swapmeet.

Sees my dish of little brown "smart nuggets".

He buys one. Pays me. Eats it.


Says, "This tastes like ****!!" :puke:


See, your gettin smarter already. :D

 

[Thegreasemonkey]

built ford tough!

 

[KarlVP]

Self Help advice from a 2 year old.


-Challenge yourself every day. Try climbing the stairs carrying two soccer balls while wearing your father

 

[jruz]

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?


To get to the bottom!

 

[green yj]

What did the fish say when it swam into the cement wall?









Dam!!!!

 

[dirtygoat]

Why doesn't Tacoma have a professional NFL team???




Cause if they had one, Seattle would want one to...

 

[Dumpolina]

Old timer cowboys sittin 'round the fire after hard day on the trail.
Dog curls up next to them, lays into licking himself.

Cowboy 1: "Sometimes, I sure wish I could do that"






Cowboy2: "You can try, but he might bite you"

 

[Jeepasaurusrex]

Fresh from her shower, a woman was standing in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.

Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
How long will this take, she asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.

She stopped. Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

 

[CHOP SHOP]

So,
a Communist,
a Muslim,
and an Illegal alien walk into a bar................................

















































The bartender says, "Hello Mr President!!"

 

[oneshot]

Self Help advice from a 2 year old.


-Challenge yourself every day. Try climbing the stairs carrying two soccer balls while wearing your father

 

[oneshot]

best pick up at a gay bar? can I push in your stool:fawkdancesmiley:

 

[messix]

how do you win a fight win an emo....


give him a knife and let him cut himself.....

 

[gas is on the right]

whats the difference between john wayne and jack daniels










jack daniels is still killing indians

 

[gas is on the right]

whats the difference between inlaws and outlaws???

















outlaws are wanted

 

[CHOP SHOP]

How do you have a party in space?














Ya planet!

 

[CHOP SHOP]

A Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?"

Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man. It ain't 'til next week."

 

[zukkev]

Lil Zuk walks into a bar.

That's no joke...that thar's the truth!!! :haha:

 

[zukkev]

Here's a dirty one-liner for ya...































































Pig fell in the mud...:redneck:

 

[Little Red Zuk]

Lil Zuk walks into a bar.

Or was it "under" a bar? :fawkdancesmiley:

That's no joke...that thar's the truth!!! :haha:

I expected that.:fawkdancesmiley:

Good thing nobody knows I'm really 6'2":D

 

[Maverick26]

What do you call 500 indian women that just had their nipples cut off?













The IndianNipples 500.

 

[Maverick26]

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Octopus?













I dont know either... but it sure could pick some apples!

 

[Maverick26]

Why did the guy name his dog Herpes?













Cause he wouldn't heel.

 

[lilpain]

My mom always told me to fallow my dreams.


So I went back to bed...

 

[notstock]

Funny Short Jokes right?
Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar?
A: "Sorry, I'm a little short"

Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!

Q: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running ****.

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice