Poohbair
Pabst O'Holic
Post em up...
Funny Short Jokes....
- Thread starter Poohbair
- Start date
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Poohbair
Pabst O'Holic
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous
brothers."
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous
brothers."
TreeClimber
Well-Known Member
Lil Zuk walks into a bar.
ZedMikey
Well-Known Member
Or was it "under" a bar? :fawkdancesmiley:
2pwrlftrs4u
NWW Meanie
Udub football :fawkdancesmiley:
CHOP SHOP
Well-Known Member
The blind capenter picked up his hammer, and saw. :D
CHOP SHOP
Well-Known Member
Man stops at my booth at the Packwood swapmeet.
Sees my dish of little brown "smart nuggets".
He buys one. Pays me. Eats it.
Says, "This tastes like ****!!" :puke:
See, your gettin smarter already. :D
Sees my dish of little brown "smart nuggets".
He buys one. Pays me. Eats it.
Says, "This tastes like ****!!" :puke:
See, your gettin smarter already. :D
Thegreasemonkey
Well-Known Member
built ford tough!
KarlVP
Love that TOYOTA
Self Help advice from a 2 year old.
-Challenge yourself every day. Try climbing the stairs carrying two soccer balls while wearing your father
-Challenge yourself every day. Try climbing the stairs carrying two soccer balls while wearing your father
jruz
Well-Known Member
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
To get to the bottom!
Dumpolina
Active Member
Old timer cowboys sittin 'round the fire after hard day on the trail.
Dog curls up next to them, lays into licking himself.
Cowboy 1: "Sometimes, I sure wish I could do that"
Cowboy2: "You can try, but he might bite you"
Dog curls up next to them, lays into licking himself.
Cowboy 1: "Sometimes, I sure wish I could do that"
Cowboy2: "You can try, but he might bite you"
Jeepasaurusrex
Well-Known Member
Fresh from her shower, a woman was standing in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.
Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
How long will this take, she asked.
They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.
She stopped. Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.
Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
How long will this take, she asked.
They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.
She stopped. Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
CHOP SHOP
Well-Known Member
So,
a Communist,
a Muslim,
and an Illegal alien walk into a bar................................
The bartender says, "Hello Mr President!!"
a Communist,
a Muslim,
and an Illegal alien walk into a bar................................
The bartender says, "Hello Mr President!!"
oneshot
Well-Known Member
messix
Well-Known Member
how do you win a fight win an emo....
give him a knife and let him cut himself.....
give him a knife and let him cut himself.....
gas is on the right
Well-Known Member
whats the difference between john wayne and jack daniels
jack daniels is still killing indians
jack daniels is still killing indians
gas is on the right
Well-Known Member
whats the difference between inlaws and outlaws???
outlaws are wanted
outlaws are wanted
CHOP SHOP
Well-Known Member
How do you have a party in space?
Ya planet!
Ya planet!
CHOP SHOP
Well-Known Member
A Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?"
Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man. It ain't 'til next week."
With that, Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?"
Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man. It ain't 'til next week."
zukkev
Cornfuzzled yet again...
That's no joke...that thar's the truth!!! :haha:
zukkev
Cornfuzzled yet again...
Here's a dirty one-liner for ya...
Pig fell in the mud...:redneck:
Pig fell in the mud...:redneck:
Little Red Zuk
Well-Known Member
I expected that.:fawkdancesmiley:
Good thing nobody knows I'm really 6'2":D
Maverick26
As iron sharpens iron...
What do you call 500 indian women that just had their nipples cut off?
The IndianNipples 500.
The IndianNipples 500.
Maverick26
As iron sharpens iron...
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Octopus?
I dont know either... but it sure could pick some apples!
I dont know either... but it sure could pick some apples!
Maverick26
As iron sharpens iron...
Why did the guy name his dog Herpes?
Cause he wouldn't heel.
Cause he wouldn't heel.
notstock
Well-Known Member
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Funny Short Jokes right?
Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar?
A: "Sorry, I'm a little short"
Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!
Q: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running ****.
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice
Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar?
A: "Sorry, I'm a little short"
Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!
Q: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running ****.
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice
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