• Help Support Hardline Crawlers :

Jokes

YOUNG

YOUNG

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2007
Messages
327
Location
South Florida
They decided that since Michael was 99% plastic that they will melt him down into Lego Blocks. This way the kids can play with him for a change.



Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.





What's black and comes in little white cans?
Michael Jackson



McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Michael Jackson Burger"...
It has 50 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.





Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.





Only in America can you be born black and die white.



Q:What do Michael Jackson and Kmart have in common?
A: They both have boys pants half off!!



They're saying Michael died of food poisoning, apparently he ate some 12 year old nuts.



why does michael Jackson wear high waters?
he just puts the first pair of pants he finds on when he wakes up.
 
The real deal was that Michael walked into his kitchen and saw Chris Hansen from Dateline standing there. Chris asked him to take a seat over there and Mike fell the hell out ;D
 
when farrah fuacet died and got to heaven, god asked her for her last wish. all she wanted was for all the children to be safe, so he killed michael jackson
 
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
A: "Feel the World."

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic surgery on his pecker.
Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy won't fit anymore.
Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing gender entirely.

Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST.

Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.

Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"

Q: What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road?
A: "I'll be there!"

If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long.

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?
A: "And then he touched me"

Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite rock song?
A: Sweet Child O' Mine.

Q: What was the first thing Michael Jackson did when he heard Sweet Child O' Mine?
A: Called Guns N' Roses to see if they could share some of their children with him.

I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "****ing kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson have a tough guy reputation?
A: He has licked every kid possible.

Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L.A. search warrant:
He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Miss Bobbit have in common?
A: They both played with little wieners.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine year old wiener!

Q: Did you hear Micheal Jackson was found dead?
A: He got food poisoning from an 11 year old wiener.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the school cafeteria?
A: Because he ate all the kids' wieners.

Q: What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?
A: Both get turned on by kids!!!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common?
A: They both know how to rear a child.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.

Q: Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
A: He's a crack shooter.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
A: One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other f***s little boys.

Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?
A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.

It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space.
A spokesperson for NASA said, "We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back".

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite holiday?
A: Christmas because he gives the well behaved kids a special gift...

Q: What does Micheal Jackson eat after his Chrismas dinner?
A: An under eight.

Q: Where's Michael going on holiday?
A: He's off to Tampa with the kids.

Q: Why were Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: They belonged to somebody else.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both have small boys pants at half off!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both wait 3 months after the child is born to give piercings.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart?
A: He heard they had small boys pants half off.

Q: What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit?
A: A happy meal.

McDonald's is bringing out a new "Michael Jackson Burger"...
It has 35 year old meat inside 5 year old buns.

The new burger at McDonald's is called the McJackson.
It consists of matured beef between two fresh white buns.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson not like eating at Taco Bell?
A: Because he doesn't want to think outside the bun.

Q: What did Michael Jackson order at the Chinese restaraunt?
A: Sum Yung Boy!

Q: What do Michael's rear and an LA jail have in common?
A: Both hold the juice.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.

Q: What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name?
A: Melikeemyoung.

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Q: How many times does 12 go into 35?
A: Ask Michael Jackson.

Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5?
A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boyfriends?
A: Because there are twenty of them!

An engineer, a lawyer and Michael Jackson are all asked the same question, "What is 2+2?".
The engineer says, "Well, it is almost 4, but never actually reaches it."
The lawyer says. "Hm, case files seem to say it is 4."
Then they looked at Michael figuring he would get it wrong, then he said, "That's easy! The age of the boys I like!"

Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!

Q: What's the worst stain to try and remove from little boy's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup.

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand.

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
A: Emily **** in son.
 
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying, "Yo"

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the Cuban national anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****...
 
Bringing it back!

Saw this one on National Lampoon's Dirty Movie (highly racist, highly suggested!)-

Priest walks into a bank and tells the teller lady "I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
"What?", she says.
"I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you talk to me like that.", turns to the back, "Manager!"
Manager asks, "What's the problem sir?"
Priest says, "I just won seventy million ****ing dollars in the lottery, and I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
Manager says, "...and this ****ing **** won't help you?"
:wtflol: molaugh molaugh molaugh :wtflol:
 
Re: Re: Re: Jokes

5BrothersFabrication said:
Bringing it back!

Saw this one on National Lampoon's Dirty Movie (highly racist, highly suggested!)-

Priest walks into a bank and tells the teller lady "I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
"What?", she says.
"I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you talk to me like that.", turns to the back, "Manager!"
Manager asks, "What's the problem sir?"
Priest says, "I just won seventy million ****ing dollars in the lottery, and I want to put my ****ing money in your ****ing bank."
Manager says, "...and this ****ing **** won't help you?"
:wtflol: molaugh molaugh molaugh :wtflol:
Click to expand...

Lmao that's pretty funny....vulgarity and shrewdness are what makes jokes funny to me.

Sent from my not-so-dumb phone...
 
How did Hellen Keller break her arm?
She tried to read a stop sign going Down the road.
 
the american red cross recently came to my door and asked if i wanted to help with the recent flooding in mexico.. told them id love to but my hose only reachs to the end of my driveway
 
The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired.

Apparently, I can't say "Black paint!" any more.
I have to be PC and say, "Please paint that wall, Leroy."
 

Latest posts

Random media

IMG_1534.JPG
Picture 032.jpg
20210330_201812.jpg
9864-MMS-1501551190000-attachment1-0729171819a.jpg
Febuary 6 2008 003.JPG
working side toobs (Custom).JPG
image.jpg
416813_286732884778997_1987571656_n.jpg
20160923_125250 (1).jpg
Top