So life will be lonely

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t1h5ta3 said:
i dont know ya, but i can relate.. im going thru a divorce as well i have 2 boys that were/are my life...

what i found worked for me to get me thru the first couple weeks... get in touch with friends you havent seen in a while, for me i also stayed away from the drink.. to easy to spiral into depresion... stay active.. physicly and mentaly... that and i talked to my doc... got on anti depresents for about 2 weeks to get me thru the tough time... and most important.. learn to look for the positive in EVERY THING.

its been a month now.. im happyer than i think ive been in almost 5 years..
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So true--I even had this goofy fawker show up at my place with his boys :flipoff:

As mentioned before brian keep yourself busy...
 
I've been down that road and what was worse for me was my ex left me with 3 boys to raise while I was trying to run a business, then she came back after 6 months, had me thrown out of the house (lied to the cops and said I beat her up) locked out of my own shop and thrown in jail (while I was in there, she and her then BF raided the place, sold all my tools and all my cars, including some that belonged to other people and claimed I did it!)
 
http://www.nw-wheelers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15896

:corn:

Best of luck to ya Brian... I've been down the road a few times w/ girlfriends. Just try to look for all the good that is in your life now.
keep close to baby, fight in courts to get things done the right way & legal way. DO NOT TRY TO WIN HER BACK OR GO AFTER HER. it's done & over between you two, but your still able to support & provide for your daughter.

STAY SINGLE & DATE, and enjoy the freedom of being YOU.

best of luck Brian, it only gets better from here, unless you crawl back to her or go after another girl to hook up with. stay single... and be there for your baby & yourself. give it time and maybe a girl will find YOU & fall in love w/ you. and hopefully the both of you will share many of the same things in life & hit it off. but until then, be there for yourself & keep your head up & start earning money to go to court and get stuff legally done.

***you know i'm always here for a friend. :awesomework:
 
NotMatt said:
Hopefully you guys can work out a plan that works for both of you, so that you can still be a part of your daughter's life. IMO, that's the important part. You and your (ex)wife might not get along, but you should still be able to cooperate so you can be a father to your baby girl.
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x 1,000,000!!!! That baby girl of yours is the important thing! When you had her, it all became about HER!!!!

Good luck and no matter what, dont let your daughter be in the middle!!!
 
CrustyJeep said:
:wtf: I hope they had a gawd damn good reason...
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They said a viable relative in Iowa was found. They had not even checked her out yet. They claimed that we were getting too attached and so was he. No ****. When you are told you are going to be able to adopt a kid, your heart is set on it. The state social workers remind me of used car salesmen. :mad:
They tell you what you want to hear to get you to take a kid, then you find out the truth. Pisses me off.
 
I'm going through the same thing bud. If your married there is a new thing now called colabrative law which you work things out between both of you and each of your lawers around a table not in a court room. It worked for me, I thought I got a pretty good deal seeing my two kids tue, thur, sat and 15 weeked a year and two one week vacations. Our child counsler told us our kids will be just fine as long as my x and I can stay cool to each other and be freinds and just agree to disagree. Sorry to hear your loss, keep your head up!:hi: I stayed away from the drink and got anti-depresants. Worked really good!
 
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been there and still going thru it. stay away from the mind altering things it really does fuch with your head more. just try to spend as much time as you can with your daughter. it so important for you, she will be the best medicine.
best luck, and wecome to the single dad club.
 
Well now you consider it a learning experience. Look at what made the relationship go bad and just dont do it again. My first marriage was probably the worse in recorded history, my 2nd (current wife) is probably the best it can be.
 
I tried to get ahold of my semi exwife to tell her to give my daughter some love for me as i am going to bed and got no answer. She just called me back and she went bar hopping with some friends.She didnt bother to tell me about it and let one of her dirty ass friends watch her. The chick that is watching her has two out of control 3 year old little boys and a house that smells like cat piss. Im so ****ing pissed off right now.:mad:
 
Brian H said:
I tried to get ahold of my semi exwife to tell her to give my daughter some love for me as i am going to bed and got no answer. She just called me back and she went bar hopping with some friends.She didnt bother to tell me about it and let one of her dirty ass friends watch her. The chick that is watching her has two out of control 3 year old little boys and a house that smells like cat piss. Im so ****ing pissed off right now.:mad:
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Screw the friendship, if she means as much to you as you make it seem get a lawyer. You can't win every battle, so pick the ones that really matter.
 
I just told her that if she has Kyla she better not be partying. She can do that on nights that I have her. I also told her that if she pulls this **** again that I will get a lawyer and fight her unemployed ass to the end.
 
Dont waint until she does it again....DO IT NOW. File for custody asap, document everythig. I wainted and got screwed now Im a weekend Dad:mad:
 
Wow. There has been a lot of this going on lately. You know, marriage is hard, I know mine is. Between God and working super hard to NOT be a selfish arse I have made mine work. It takes work everyday, and putting yourself aside and doing what's best.

If your're (ex)-lady is out partying, I would definitely do what is needed to get my child back. It seems like you've got things on the up-and-up, and she wants to go party and forget life. Can't be done. Partying is never the answer; it usually just creates more problems. No amount of alcohol makes it go away, it'll only make it worse. Maybe when she faces the fact that she'll lose custody she'll straighten her own self out. Selfishness kills all relationships, and striving to be unselfish is the only answer out of that mess.

I feel for you Brian, and I think you deserve your child.
 
Bronczilla said:
Dont waint until she does it again....DO IT NOW. File for custody asap, document everythig. I wainted and got screwed now Im a weekend Dad:mad:
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x2

It WILL happen again. This "friendship" thing will not work out in the end.
 
So I have my little girl for the night and all day tomorrow and man it feels good to see her after a few days.:cheer:
 
File for "First Right Of Refusal" so that you have the choice, by court order, to watch her any time she needs a babysitter, goes to "work" etc. :redneck:

Another thing to remember, is to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Keep a journal of every time she is out partying, etc. Also note how much you have her. Write down everything. It may not seem like its a big item now, but down the road it will pay off. Little things will help jog your memory of bigger things. That is one thing that helped me win custody of my two girls. :awesomework:
 
Jeepasaurusrex said:
File for "First Right Of Refusal" so that you have the choice, by court order, to watch her any time she needs a babysitter, goes to "work" etc. :redneck:

Another thing to remember, is to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Keep a journal of every time she is out partying, etc. Also note how much you have her. Write down everything. It may not seem like its a big item now, but down the road it will pay off. Little things will help jog your memory of bigger things. That is one thing that helped me win custody of my two girls. :awesomework:
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I have a list already. My mom told me to start doing that the day Nicole left.

Thanks for all the support to all of you. It truely means alot to me that you all are behind me on this very rough time. Thanks:awesomework:
 
Try to stay calm in your dealings with her. Don't think she won't be documenting everything you do too:;
 
Hide every bit of anger until absolutely no-one is around to see you release it (especially the little girl) ANY sign of anger at this point will be used against you in a court of law!
 
Brian,

You referenced her "unemployed" status. IF that is indeed so, you really need to get some professional advice NOW. All her peers will be encourgaging her (and she'll realize this too) that you are the only source of income for her, for the baby, and she'll have you in court for both child and spousal support.

If I recall correctly, your recent career upswing will fuel this fire.

You are both young, and I'm guessing you'll have no problem supporting your CHILD, but after the courts get involved (unless you pre-empt) you'll find that SHE has custody 95% of the time and you are paying 95% of both of their incomes and SHE isn't using the daughters money for the daughters care, but rather to party and have fun and spend on her next boyfriend, etc etc

Although I've never been in this position myself, I have seen it happen first hand to my brother-in-law.

And one last word of advice, IIRC, you also have gone off the deep end at times. NOW IS NOT THE TIME!.. Please please please keep a level head, a cool dispostion, be very rational.

Any actions that are 'rash' will be very very damaging when (not if- WHEN) a Judge sees this custody hearing / divorce procedings.

All that said, if you do manage to have a civil breakup - God Bless., however I've seen few of these, and lots of the others

My motto: Live for Today, Plan for Tomorrow. Be cool and enjoy every minute you get with your daughter, but please plan for your, and her tomorrow.

Tony
 
So about 3:30 this morning Nicole had to come pick up Kyla because Kyla seem very uncomfortable around me. Im guessing its because she spends all day around nicole and when she didnt smell mom around she freaks out. I tried everything I could think of and she just wouldnt fall asleep next to me. As soon as I left the room she would sleep. This really hurt last night and just about pushed me off the deep end. Today I feel alittle better and have plans on working on the runner.
 
So Nicole and the baby are home but she wants her space and we slept in different rooms. She wants to seek counciling for her self and wants me to seek it also on top of anger management. That was the agreement on coming home. I really hope this works out.
 
Brian H said:
So Nicole and the baby are home but she wants her space and we slept in different rooms. She wants to seek counciling for her self and wants me to seek it also on top of anger management. That was the agreement on coming home. I really hope this works out.
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Good to hear Brian. I really truly wish you two the best, and it sounds like maybe you're on the right track. Keep a cool head and give her her space. Keep an open mind about the counseling and make the best of it.
 
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