Private adoption

[The Luke]

Took her to the ER yesterday afternoon. While waiting to get a room she ran to the bathroom and passed everything. Immediate relief, no more pain. So we grabbed our stuff and left.


We had to explain to the triage Dr why we were there. He then asked her "where are you bleeding from?" We both looked at each other like "wtf are we doing here?"


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[whiskeymakin]

Wow. Yea we have had a few dr.s that make you wonder...why the hell are we here. Not that bad tho haha.
Glad she is through with all that.

 

[The Luke]

Thanks man. Hope y'all are doing well.


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[TBItoy]

Damn brother I feel for you.

We had a "scare" (bleeding/ etc) when my wife was at 10 weeks or so, plus issues with her fluid levels being low throughout (even though she was drinking 1.5+ gallons of water a day).

I remember how that made me felt and can't imagine what y'all are going through.

Prayers.

 

[Jeep Family]

I have 7 kids, 5 biological and 2 adopted. We have never been in the foster system because after hearing the stories of what those kids go through I would track some dudes down and end that problem on my own. We adopted a 4 year old girl with dwarfism from Poland years back after our daughter with the same condition passed away after birth. God prepared us for that because we knew all of the potential medical issues and they did not scare us away. Then a few years later we adopted a little guy in Texas at birth. What makes a young black girl choose an all white family from Alabama to adopt her child I will never know but I'll tell you only God can make that all work. I'm not sure about the pick and choose side of adoption. My feeling is, Bring them on, I'll love a kid no matter what their past or current situation. We actually have a few other kids from down the street in the house now as well as their family goes through tuff times. I wouldn't go "Shopping". Make a choice that you will love and care for whatever child God sends you just like you would if you had given birth to that child.
Be ready to pay the price. On the first child I had to sell the Dung Beetle my CJ6 crawler I build from scratch to cover expenses. Then on the second I sold my Land Rover 90 right hand drive to cover expenses. But that falls in line with the fact that these are my kids and I would do anything and give up anything for them.

Love unconditionally! Trust God!

 

[Jeep Family]

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[Jeep Family]

Oh yeh, after we thought we were done having kids and adopting two children this sweet thing showed up when my wife got pregnant. God will always get the last word.

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[The Luke]

That's amazing man. Beautiful family. My sister has two of her own and two adopted. All of those kids are incredible. We are beginning to look more into adoption. We are going to a seminar type meeting about it in about two weeks.

Also working on going to a second specialist that we've heard great things about. On top of that we're trying some holistic stuff. Acupuncture, chiropractor, etc.. I've never believed in that stuff. But there's a lot of study's showing that it can help. So if it increases our odds by 2%, I'll take it.


As for selling stuff, I'm not far from it. I think we might give it one more "natural" shot. And if that doesn't work we'll be changing our focus. The dr we are at now pushes IVF like its clearance cocaine. That's her solution to everything. The problem is ivf is mostly designed for people that can't get preg. Which isn't our problem. So In our situation it's a $17-30k slightly better chance. Whereas that same money could be spent to adopt. So, we're weighing out all that.

In the mean time, I've gotten a job offer that could double to triple my salary. Which would fund 100% of this. The catch, the work isn't guaranteed and they don't have a contract with any telcom companies. Is there work now, yes. But how long will it last? The odds are good that my current company will lose the contract if I leave, which leaves it to the next best party, my potential new job.

Either way, I'm letting the dust settle from this weekend before I make any choices.


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[CHASMAN9]

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Hearts of Gold, God has definitely inspired this family.

 

[The Luke]

A few months have passed. One more miscarriage and one more "chemical pregnancy" lost. Looking more into adoption and starting foster classes Monday. We've been doing homework on grants and different ways to fund adoptions. All I can say is that the costs so far are outrageous.


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[TBItoy]

Re:

I hear about costs being outrageous, but who/where does the money go, and for what?

And what about the white trash families that have 14 dirty, half fed foster kids ? At least that's how it was when I grew up... Things might have changed now...


I have 2 cousins ( brother &sister) that adopted their children, the brother adopted 2 localish kids, and his sister adopted one from Columbia and one from Korea.

 

[The Luke]

I hear about costs being outrageous, but who/where does the money go, and for what?

And what about the white trash families that have 14 dirty, half fed foster kids ? At least that's how it was when I grew up... Things might have changed now...


I have 2 cousins ( brother &sister) that adopted their children, the brother adopted 2 localish kids, and his sister adopted one from Columbia and one from Korea.

I'll copy and paste the info I have later. But the overall budget is 10-20% goes to the birth mom for expenses. 5-10% goes to lawyer fees. And the rest goes towards keeping the non profit doors open. Meanwhile, from my experiences so far, the lady behind the desk drives a Lexus or Mercedes.

The foster system hasn't changed much. There are good and bad foster parents tho. We plan on being the good ones. Haha


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[whiskeymakin]

Re:

I hear about costs being outrageous, but who/where does the money go, and for what?

Lawyers changing rights bout all I know of. Somebody is getting rich on others misfortune imo

 

[86chevota]

A few months have passed. One more miscarriage and one more "chemical pregnancy" lost. Looking more into adoption and starting foster classes Monday. We've been doing homework on grants and different ways to fund adoptions. All I can say is that the costs so far are outrageous.


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We finished foster parent class's two weeks ago if you have any ??? Of just need to rant pm me I will send you my number. My wife used to work at DCS for 10ys. She removed kids and did the foster parent stuff she knows the ends and outs. Good luck to you and your wife.

 

[86chevota]

Re:

Lawyers changing rights bout all I know of. Somebody is getting rich on others misfortune imo

30% goes to the lawyers
20% to the birth mom
30% state/ gov taxes
The rest to the adoption company

 

[The Luke]

Well, it's official. After 5 miscarriages in two years, the wife and I have officially decided to take a break and focus on the adoption process. This is something we've wanted to do since before we ever got married. We're just doing it sooner than originally planned.

We've picked a consultant company to go through, are finishing up our home study tomorrow. Should be up and able to be matched by April. Given that the average adoption cost is around 35k, we've started doing a couple small fundraisers through facebook, friends, and family. We've got a long way to go, but we are getting there.


I did want to bounce something off of ya'll. I'm considering getting ahold of AOP, GMP or another park and organizing a ride to raise money for it. Depending on the turnout, I would like to start a nonprofit and turn this into an annual thing where all of the proceeds go towards helping families with their adoptions costs. I know that we already do lots of toys for tots, crawling for reid, and other benefit rides. So, I would never want to take away from them. Just an idea that I'm kicking around. Thoughts?

I feel weird doing this. It's not in me to ask for money, handouts, whatever...But, I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is way beyond me.

 

[onepieceatatime]

Re:

I think it's a great idea and you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to give kids a good home.

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[blacksheep10]

I am blown the **** away adoption costs that much. That is what is keeping my wife and I away

 

[The Luke]

I am blown the **** away adoption costs that much. That is what is keeping my wife and I away

I agree man. That's what pushed us away for so long. Then we decided to make it happen and the money just showed up. People I haven't spoken to since 5th grade reached out and made it happen. It has floored me time and time again. Like I said, we still have a long ways to go. But I have no doubt it will happen.


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