Are you the man of your household? NSFW thread spinoff

[johneddie]

^^^^ Starting to get a little deep here....I agree.
I can relate to work getting in the way of family. Not as a child,but as a parent. Like I said earlier in my post....self employed,me and the wife have worked together for the last 12 years. When the housing market was booming several years ago (8-10), 60 to 70 hour weeks were the norm. Even though we worked together we weren't always together,had a couple people that worked for us. She would be handling the customer/estimate end of things and I was involved in the getting it done portion. Money was awesome but much time was taken from the kids and the stress took it's toll on us. Too much alcohol and wandering thoughts and actions almost caused a divorce. Kids strayed.... drugs, not coming home,etc...
Things have repaired themselves for the most part since the economy tanked and work slowed down. Still getting by, just not as much $$$ and now the kids are older and I can't go back and regain what was lost. Thankfully my youngest is just turning 16 next week and she's been good so far (proud of her). Don't really know where I was going with this but anyway don't let work and financial strain get in the way of family! Times are tough enough as it is....
Sorry for the rant and slight derail.

 

[wont work]

Parents working all the time is not bad. My mom and dad worked all the time when I was little. Dad for sure did, I can remember him going to work coming home to eat supper and going to his shop to work more till late just so we could eat. He always looked up and always said don't ever go backwards. He was one of the better fab guys and welders I have ever known not just because he was my dad. People would call him from all over to fix stuff nobody else would even come look at. Mom was the same way and still is. She worked and went to school full time most of my younger days and I stayed with grandparents or friends until I was old enough to pull welding cables or get a 9/16 wrench. Worked many years without pay but got to eat daily and had a dry place to sleep. I loved going to work with dad and still did up till he passed away.
I say all that to say this. Parents working all the time doesn't make a kid get on drugs or be a trouble person. A child chooses what they want to do. I am 31 and have never done any type of drug (pills, pot, or whatever they have), never smoked a cigarette, and never been arrested. I have been in cuffs and questioned a few times but stayed on the good side of the bars and have drank my share of beer. I have a good job, great family, and the best kid in the world. People choose what direction they want to go in life every breath they take. I along with everyone reading this have made bad and good choices some have made more bad than good and vise versa. I say it again that people choose the direction they want to go in some just don't choose the correct one the first time.

 

[5BrothersFabrication]

^^^^ Starting to get a little deep here....I agree.
I can relate to work getting in the way of family. Not as a child,but as a parent. Like I said earlier in my post....self employed,me and the wife have worked together for the last 12 years. When the housing market was booming several years ago (8-10), 60 to 70 hour weeks were the norm. Even though we worked together we weren't always together,had a couple people that worked for us. She would be handling the customer/estimate end of things and I was involved in the getting it done portion. Money was awesome but much time was taken from the kids and the stress took it's toll on us. Too much alcohol and wandering thoughts and actions almost caused a divorce. Kids strayed.... drugs, not coming home,etc...
Things have repaired themselves for the most part since the economy tanked and work slowed down. Still getting by, just not as much $$$ and now the kids are older and I can't go back and regain what was lost. Thankfully my youngest is just turning 16 next week and she's been good so far (proud of her). Don't really know where I was going with this but anyway don't let work and financial strain get in the way of family! Times are tough enough as it is....
Sorry for the rant and slight derail.

Glad you got it together. Family first.

 

[blacksheep10]

I had a few beers before posting that, but it is really how it feels. We both work all the time. She has no weekends, my weekends are the only time I take a little from the work (I vacation for racing some, if the shop is slow I might go here and there during the week, or I might work all weekend). We just never see each other. My boy is 5. Her daughter is 14. My shop is at my Dad's house, so he was here last night riding his bike around, talking to Grandpa, coming to the shop to see me, raising hell etc. I spend time with him and work late nights so I can take him to school in the morning. I like that time with him, my dad was a dairy farmer so 5 am to 8ish pm. I grew up on a tractor fender and in a dairy barn. I'm not ****ed up (too bad) I'm just driven to work a lot and feel guilty when I'm not. I can't sit on a beach, or in a resort, or in a hotel. I vacation to ride or race, and you work on something the WHOLE time you're there. Just the way dad wired me. Hopefully my son won't feel guilty about not working, but will have a strong enough work ethic to go do 5 or 6 honest days work a week.
Back to the man of the house, I envy all the married couples that are teams. Literally teams, and that takes 2 players that are nearly on the same level mentally. Generally finance plays a big part of this. I always wanted a wife that worked and was smart. Mine has a masters and works a lot, always has. I think I took the good job and high degree as smart. We didn't live together before we were married, and didnt' share finances first. My mistake. I should have had an IRS audit on her before marrying her, or at least ran a credit report. Late 20's, she has a career, so do I, we make our own money, we can stay separate and go from here! Isn't working out well. We each do what we want but neither are happy. We also can't see eye to eye on money. I think she spends frivilously, I'm sure she thinks the same of me. I can walk up and point to almost all of my purchases and tell you what I paid, what its worth and if I will feasibly make money on it (shop equipment, some vehicles) or write some loss off to recreation (rzr). She can't point to her assets, she essentially has none. Her Lexus is paid off, I got her a great deal and cosigned. It is still very nice and has lots of trouble free life left in it, she wants to go get a crossover. Okay, I'll get you a traverse at the auction. I can probably pay cash for it if I sell an extra vehicle. Nope, 4 women around town have them, and they're all old. Want a Lexus suv type to throw away interest on for the next 4 years :. Okay, **** you, I'm going to get a truck laughing1
We're dysfunctional but both caring parents. My son can hang aroudn my shop while I work, or she has a huge amazing event space, there are other kids there, food, ac, couches, tv, all of it, so the kids are okay and always with a parent or grandparent.

 

[LightBnDr]

I can appreciate havin a few beers and venting. Lol

When I read the I do what I want, kids are stuck with me or her, 80 hour work weeks, just flashed me back is all. Haha. Guess it hit me just right. I had a couple parents that were only concerned about new relationships and new step parents as well as work. The way I got noticed was gettin in big trouble.

I'd given anything to hang with my dad anywhere for hours. Guess I mis understood you.

Hey let's go wheel. WTF!

 

[redneckengineered]

....speaking of guys buying something without thinking it through, whats up with all the brand new,1 or 2 rides bouncers that are always popping up for sale? Is there really that many people out there with the money to have them built but lack the ability to look ahead and see they are purpose built,impractical for normal trail riding and will spend most of their time in the garage?

Yes. Seen it a million times.

 

[TacomaJD]

Pertaining to the whole child developement thing, I think the way a child was brought up doesn't have as big of an impact as most think, but is moreso used as an excuse. I was brought up in church and whatnot, but I rarely go anymore. I drink beer and like hell raising shenanigans, but I'm also still a good kid in general....yet my lifestyle is frowned upon by my parents. I have several friends who grew up in shitty homes with divorced parents who struggled to support them growing up, and most of them have grown up to have a decent house, married, some married with kids, with decent or even great jobs, some with good educations too.

Then there are the ones who are just fawking wierd in general (not my friends, but rather folks I went to school with). Some brought up in "good" homes, some brought up in shitty homes, but even after growing old enough to make their own decisions, continuously choose to go down every wrong road in life that they see. They don't give a **** about themselves or any others. I've saw both bad kids and good kids come out of both picture perfect homes and shitty homes. I firmly believe it's all in how you are genetically geared. Yes, good parenting and guidance can go a long way, but I assure you there are some things parents will have no control over. I hate hearing people say "their mom and dad didn't whoop their ass enough as a child" or "that's what happens when you have shitty parents" ....to an extent that stuff is somewhat true, but not solid enought to even be the case in the majority of these situations.

 

[johneddie]

I agree that the parents/home life don't always dictate how a child turns out. Like I stated before I feel like I spent too much time away from my kids when they were younger. But on the other side of things....my son (which is the oldest of my three and gave us the most trouble and still does somewhat) is actually my adopted son. He was six months old when I married his mother. He acts JUST LIKE his biological father. He's my age,44,and is still pretty much a loser! His family lives with his wife's mother, have for years. :****: So yep... Definitely agree with the genetics part of it too on how a person turns out sometimes.

 

[onepieceatatime]

Re:

Genetics can play a huge part. Didn't know my real dad for 8 years. He grew up in a rural community farming and **** and I grew up in an urban community and somehow ended up in 4H and ****. One of the only ones in my school oddball kind of ****. When we met we were freaked out by how similar we were despite entirely different upbringings

 

[TacomaJD]

Yep, if you're genetically geared to not give a **** about things and lack motivation to do anything, then you'll do just that. Others can't influence you enough to change your instinctual ways.

 

[blacksheep10]

Yep, if you're genetically geared to not give a **** about things and lack motivation to do anything, then you'll do just that. Others can't influence you enough to change your instinctual ways.

I give it about 50/50. Nature vs nurture is a huge part of psychology and sociology studies. The reason I say 50/50 is because sometimes no matter how good of upbringing, some people turn out like **** and vice versa, and the other half of the time, the parents seem to shape them exactly as they want.
I don't fist fight. My son instinctively knows how to throw a punch. I've only spanked his butt when he's being punished, and not in anger, after I've talked to him about wrong and right, so he's not seen me hit and I've not hit him or smacked his face or anything. He goes all hulk smash rage style when mad and will ball up a fist and aim for nose. No idea where it comes from, beside genetics. Wife didnt' know her dad, but he had red hair, so I'm assuming Irish laughing1 He's 5, can't wait for puberty. Sweetest kid 95% of the time, my God when hunger, frustration and "it didn't got my way when I know I'm right" come together, go time

 

[LightBnDr]

Of course, I agree, genetics play a large part in how your brain interprets and learns behaviors. To say that your parents don't have a big impact on how you are as an adult is also silly.

I made a comment/response earlier because it's easy for parents to get wrapped up in work, relationships and other activities above their children. I'm guilty of it. My wife stays home with our girls. I work a lot of crazy hours especially during hail season. When it's all over, I feel guilty as hell because I missed months of them growing. A lot of times, we don't even notice until a decade later. We look back and think all that time when your kiddos were young we chose to do others things instead of enjoy them when they are young. Before you know it, they are out of the house learning how to be a grown up. As a parent our jobs are to prepare them and guide them toward being a great adult. Be involved with them and let them know you are proud of them all the time and you can pretty much rule out them being poor adults.

It just bums me out to see parents who are selfish and think that kids don't really need them.

 

[muddinmetal]

I give it about 50/50. Nature vs nurture is a huge part of psychology and sociology studies. The reason I say 50/50 is because sometimes no matter how good of upbringing, some people turn out like **** and vice versa, and the other half of the time, the parents seem to shape them exactly as they want.
I don't fist fight. My son instinctively knows how to throw a punch. I've only spanked his butt when he's being punished, and not in anger, after I've talked to him about wrong and right, so he's not seen me hit and I've not hit him or smacked his face or anything. He goes all hulk smash rage style when mad and will ball up a fist and aim for nose. No idea where it comes from, beside genetics. Wife didnt' know her dad, but he had red hair, so I'm assuming Irish laughing1 He's 5, can't wait for puberty. Sweetest kid 95% of the time, my God when hunger, frustration and "it didn't got my way when I know I'm right" come together, go time

If I punched my Dad in the nose more than once, he would have taken me out of this world :****:

 

[blacksheep10]

agree, he doesn't have the reach to get the job done on me much, but I've seen him tied up by his bigger cousins and give a look over the shoulder, zero in and pop!

Light, Yes, nurture is huge. There are a lot of arguements each way. Some serial killers have good families, and were raised right, they're just wired wrong (very ****ing extreme case).

 

[onepieceatatime]

Re:

My brother ( technically half brother ) is really a lot different than me despite being raised in the same house by the same to people. I'm more of an adventerous go getter a lot like my father who I didn't know for the first 18 years of my life and he gets more and more like his father everyday, no motivation to do anything, always negative, and extremely lazy.

 

[tonybolton]

Re: Re: Re:

no motivation to do anything, always negative, and extremely lazy.

So he's a woman? 8) LOL

 

[June dog]

Sounds like we need another spin off thread " anyone have that one crazy half retard relative ".. I'm not talking special needs either before the hate starts. I've got a nephew that I swear if he checked his self in on the 5th floor for mental evaluation he would draw a crazy check . Sorry as hell, has no concept of the truth and will take **** from his parents and act like it's owed to him. The son of abitch just ain't right. I think the crazy gene skips a few generations then comes back full force on some and he's one of em. There's no such thing as conciquince with him. He can't think past right now. He don't care what he does or who it effects. I've never really met anyone else like it I'm my life. And he can con anybody out of a dollar with his his sob stories.bottom line is he's just friggin crazy!.

 

[TacomaJD]

Re: Re: Re:

So he's a woman? 8) LOL

 

[onepieceatatime]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

So he's a woman? 8) LOL

Lol I should start referring to him as my sister.

 

[tonybolton]

Re: Re: Are you the man of your household? NSFW thread spinoff

I have a project jeep that I was just starting on for sale. The Ole lady found a house she wants, so this and the Rubicon I just finished have to go.

Jus gonna leave this here....