Am I over reacting?

Demo Steve · Feb 15, 2016

My wife and i met this couple through church and the gals hit it off. Of course then we had to do the couples date. I did not get a good vibe from the other dude. This was his second marriage and third gal he had a kid with. This was her first marriage and first kid and she told my wife how she thought she would never find anyone. Anyway, like i said, he put off a bad vibe to me, but my wife really liked his wife. After a few months he started shooting my wife texts and email messages. They were weird to like sure miss you. My wife asked if i thought this was weird. I said yes, so we stopped hanging out. This weekend we saw them at church and then a restaurant afterward and visited for a few minutes. This morning he texts my wife, you sure are looking good but don't tell (insert his wife's name) i said that. haha. They just had a kid a couple months ago.

Now am i just being a jealous husband or is this dude hitting on my wife? I replied back to him that it would be in his best interest to never contact my wife again. The thing is my wife enjoys hanging out with his wife and we bump into them at church all the time. How do i keep my cool in church when we run into this perv?

lowbudgetjunk · Feb 15, 2016

Re:

Screen shot and send to his wife. Let her be the judge.

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Jon Piper · Feb 15, 2016

Trust your wife and pray for him ....

creepycrawly · Feb 15, 2016

Totally not kosher. His wife deserves to know. I totally Understand if you don't say anything to her, but my wife and I would not be socializing with them anymore. Furthermore, I think you handled the situation pretty well. Hopefully he got the point and won't make any more passes; but, make no mistake about it. That was absolutely him testing the waters and making a pass. Just checking to see if she was receptive. I'd consider broaching the subject with the deacon or pastor. You don't need that trash in your church.

lowbudgetjunk · Feb 15, 2016

Re:

I've been the bearer of bad news when it comes to scumbag husbands and wives three times. One stayed together and two divorced. None were my fault and I talk to none of them. As well, I sleep at night knowing that I harbored no secrets.

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GONOVRIT · Feb 15, 2016

creepycrawly said:
Totally not kosher. His wife deserves to know. I totally Understand if you don't say anything to her, but my wife and I would not be socializing with them anymore. Furthermore, I think you handled the situation pretty well. Hopefully he got the point and won't make any more passes; but, make no mistake about it. That was absolutely him testing the waters and making a pass. Just checking to see if she was receptive.

This X2. I read something yesterday that said, "Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you have to delete texts so your partner won't see them, you're already there" Makes perfect sense to me.

money_pit_yj · Feb 15, 2016

It needs to stop. Your wife need to know he is crossing boundaries that should not be crossed and no matter how much she likes his wife there needs to be distance. It is difficult to explain to her but there has to be transparency and accountability. We are very involved at our church and I often have to email women about things and my wife may have to email other men about stuff and we ALWAYS make sure and cc each other. If there are no boundaries lines get crossed. My rule is you hug your wife I'll hug mine. Iacts not a trust issue as much as it is a temptation. Adam and Eve were deceived, they never set out to do harm. Nothing at all against your wife, it is just a slippery slope and dangerous place to be. You already have reservations, trust your gut and distance yourself until dude has time to prove he is not a perv, then make sure he knows the boundaries.

TacomaJD · Feb 15, 2016

Re:

lowbudgetjunk said:
Screen shot and send to his wife. Let her be the judge.

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x4,000,000

What a piece of crap. (I'll refrain from vulgarity here) I couldn't keep my cool around a scumbag like that. Worthless as tits on a nun.

kushKrawlin · Feb 15, 2016

Jon Piper said:
Trust your wife and pray for him, but text him and wife a screen shot and date him to do it again..

Fixed.

Man that's some bullshit.. Ole bitch move. Over reacting my ass.. I would say your handling it pretty good. Dudes Tryin your wife up. Needs a very Stern talking to.

kushKrawlin · Feb 15, 2016

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TacomaJD said:
x4,000,000

What a piece of crap. (I'll refrain from vulgarity here) I couldn't keep my cool around a scumbag like that. Worthless as tits on a nun.

Haha! You didn't cuss but made a nun joke. Priceless

lowbudgetjunk · Feb 15, 2016

Re:

It's not JRich is it? On Tapatalk and can't remember the stir the pot

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kushKrawlin · Feb 15, 2016

Re:

lowbudgetjunk said:
It's not JRich is it? On Tapatalk and can't remember the stir the pot

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Bahahahaha thaT lil sob! First time I met him he introduced himself then let me know if I got tired of my ole lady he would hang out with her!! Hahaha lil Turd.

dwa2469 · Feb 15, 2016

He is definitely hitting on your wife. Call his ass on it I might tell one of my buds they got a good lookin wife but would never tell her

ROKTOY829 · Feb 16, 2016

Re:

You are handling it very well and are not over reacting. The guy is texting the waters. The other lady needs to know, it will crush her and may not want to believe. Keep a record for prove. Like others have said talk to the elders at the Church and let them know the story. Trust your wife but at the same time protect what is yours.

Take it from a man that had to confront a man about his wife texting me. I had everything laid out to prove my point and he still didn't want to believe me until he saw the phone records.

This was a ex girlfriend that got married but still wanted me on a string. He finally seen I was truthful and was in the right.

bbone · Feb 16, 2016

Why does he have your wife's cell number ?

drkelly · Feb 16, 2016

That dude wants to bang your wife. No doubt about it.

That couple will end up divorced.

End the relationship with them.

onepieceatatime · Feb 16, 2016

Re:

When they divorce then your wife can hang out with his soon to be ex wife.

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muddinmetal · Feb 16, 2016

Demo Steve said:
My wife and i met this couple through church and the gals hit it off. Of course then we had to do the couples date. I did not get a good vibe from the other dude. This was his second marriage and third gal he had a kid with. This was her first marriage and first kid and she told my wife how she thought she would never find anyone. Anyway, like i said, he put off a bad vibe to me, but my wife really liked his wife. After a few months he started shooting my wife texts and email messages. They were weird to like sure miss you. My wife asked if i thought this was weird. I said yes, so we stopped hanging out. This weekend we saw them at church and then a restaurant afterward and visited for a few minutes. This morning he texts my wife, you sure are looking good but don't tell (insert his wife's name) i said that. haha. They just had a kid a couple months ago.

Now am i just being a jealous husband or is this dude hitting on my wife? I replied back to him that it would be in his best interest to never contact my wife again. The thing is my wife enjoys hanging out with his wife and we bump into them at church all the time. How do i keep my cool in church when we run into this perv?

I am not reading any of these replies, because I don't need to...

Let me be clear..

Dude is fu*king or wants to fu*k your wife,

and I'll bet $100 he is cheating on his with someone. Tell his wife NOW!!!

truckbroke · Feb 16, 2016

muddinmetal said:
I am not reading any of these replies, because I don't need to...

Let me be clear..

Dude is fu*king or wants to fu*k your wife,

and I'll bet $100 he is cheating on his with someone. Tell his wife NOW!!!

I agree and only read what you posted. I've seen this before with a friend of mine from work. Your doing the best thing for you and your wife. Keep your distance because he clearly wants your wife. Period point blank.. No reason for him to text your wife that junk. He's fishing to see if she bites.

Throttleout · Feb 16, 2016

Been in this situation before, my advise is bring it to his wife's attention. Next confront him face to face insert foot in his ass. Joking between friends about wife's is cool but hitting on you wife is way more than crossing the line. Props to you for being level headed so far, I let my situation go and it only got worse. Only difference was he was a close friend for a lot of years.